Silent Soul
by therightstory
Summary: Willow lost Tara and now wants revenge. She doesn't need help from Anya Demon of Revenge this is a solo job. But when Spike offers to tag along. They'll find themselves fighting their way out of danger. Is one of the scooby gang members keeping them their? Will this bring Spike and Willow together or further apart?
1. Chapter 1

Silent Soul

Willow was in so much pain she felt hollow inside.

She thought nothing and felt only rage like a rabid animal.

She knew the only way to expel that pain was to get revenge on the ones who caused it.

First stop is the magic shop because if she was going to do this she was going to need all the ammo she could get.

"Hey, Willow what are you doing here?" asked Anya cheerfully.

"Ssssh, no talking," said Willow freezing Anya to the spot.

Anya felt like she had just been given cement shoes. Why would willow do something like this? She watched on helplessly as hundreds of books flew off the shelf and on to the table. Willow seemed to be absorbing the words into her very hands and they washed over her body. Her eyes and hair turned black as night.

"Done."

Anya's legs returned to normal just as Willow left. She wasn't going to go chasing after her. Anya was a revenge demon she could feel the hatred coming off Willow in waves. She might as well stay out of it for now, but she had a feeling she'd be dragged back into it later.

Willow knew this wasn't going to be enough power she didn't want to risk burning out at the wrong time. She'd take care of that later first she had to save Buffy. At least she could help one innocent person. She used a locater spell to find Buffy and Xander and popped into their hospital room.

"Jesus Willow where did you come from? What's wrong with your eyes?" asked Xander bewildered.

"Is Buffy going to make it?" asked Willow.

"They can't get the bullet out. It looks like she's not going to make it. Willow tell me what's wrong?" pleaded Xander.

Willow concentrated and pulled the bullet out of Buffy's body. Buffy sputtered and coughed as she began to wake up.

"Xander, Willow," she said looking around and sitting up. "Willow what's the matter?" asked Buffy noticing her changed appearance.

"Okay gotta go. Time to find Warren." With that she disappeared as soon as she came.

"Buffy who else was in the house?" asked Xander shocked.

"Tara's gone."

"We've got to get you better I'm sure whatever she has in store for Warren cannot be good," said Xander.

"Let's just go she has a head start on us," said Buffy.

Buffy first stop was the magic shop where Anya was waiting. She already knew what was going on was instructed to grab Jonathan and Andrew from their mom's basement and bring him here.

"Leave them we have another job for you right now. Help us track down Willow?" said Buffy.

Spike caught Willow coming out of Racques. "I use to say just because your heart got broken doesn't mean you have to lose all awareness of your appearance. Lookin' good Wills."

"Spike come to stop me because Buffy told you too. Tell me something what kind of vampire follows a slayer around like a puppy?" One that needs to be turned into one she thought.

"C'Mon, luv, it's getting late or early dependin' on how you look at it. I just want to come along for the ride. I won't be a bother scouts honor."

"You weren't a scout Spike."

"Yes well I'm sure ive killed a few then."

"Fine, come."

Willow and Spike ended up in the woods. Spike decided to split up to cover more ground. He saw Warren sneaking up on Willow with Axe.

"Sorry, buddy better luck next time," said Spike grabbing the Axe from him. Willow turned around, but Warren took off running.

"He's putting up a fight pet. This is going to be fun," snapped Spike.

"Stay out-of-the-way!" demanded Willow.

"I think I helped you just now," said Spike, "But whatever you say love I'll just hang back here." He followed a few feet behind when he saw a box flying in the air. Must be one of the little buggers trinkets he thought. It exploded, but instead of blowing her to smithereens like one would expect. She simply froze it and then broke the ice. Pretty impressive that just meant he would have to be creative when he kills her. He actually liked this one out of the lot of them even bore the obvious mental lapse. Sadly, he was a man of his word he'd intervene to save the lives of the other two in exchange for them successfully taking his chip out. When he agreed to that demand he thought it be against some low-level demon not dark Willow.

She finally had Warren cornered and tied him up between two trees.  
>"You are really asking for it now," said Warren. "I'm going to get out of this and you're going to regret."<p>

"You've killed others haven't you she wasn't your first," asked Willow surprised.

"I don't know what you are talking about."

"Reveal," she said waving her hand over his face in one swooping motion.

"Yes," said Warren loudly the words seemed to crawl out of his mouth like a spider.

She touched his lips permanently shutting his mouth as his lips disappeared.

"Willow stop," yelled Buffy running up with Xander and Anya trailing behind.

Spike weighed his option if he let the gang intervene it will prevent him from having to kill her later. On the other hand her loved one just died the girl deserved her happy ending. Well that answered his question he thought. She skinned the man alive and burnt his flesh until their was only ashes with just a flick of the wrist. They didn't even get a chance to intervene. He'd seen many deaths in his day, but he'd put this on the list as one of his faves. Just like that she was gone, but he knew where to find her.

"I always knew you were a creeper," said Buffy pulling him out of the bushes.

"You saw that whole thing and never bothered to help," asked Xander disgusted. "I mean I know you don't care about any of us, but this is Willow we're talking about."

"Sorry, I'm only here to watch not participate," said Spike coldly.

"You son of a bitch," said Buffy gearing up to strike him in the face. He stopped her this would have been the perfect time for him to prove that he was no one's punching bag, but their was other things to worry about now. "Don't you have someplace to be right now," he stated snidely.

"Yes, you do have some time, but not that much longer. Jonathan and Andrew wont be safe at the library much longer," said Anya speaking up.

"Let's go Xander," said Buffy wasting no time to leave.

"Oh, Anya a moment with you before you go," asked Spike sneakily. "I want to get their first. Can you pop us there?"

"Why would I do that Spike," asked Anya not sure why she was entertaining his foolishness now.

"Because you're a vengeance Demon and because I care about her too and you know that."

"Fine, let's go," said Anya reluctantly. "She's not here yet good."

"How can you tell?" asked Spike looking around.

"Those two idiots are still sleeping in the corner over there," said Anya pointing in their direction.

"I'm going to look for a spell to help," said Giles, "I was just made aware of the situation when I got back in town.

"I see the shop is still in one piece that means she hasn't made it here yet," said Xander walking in with Buffy.

"What the hell are you doing here Spike? demanded Buffy. "You get in my way I won't hesitate to stake you."

"Tsk-Tsk I'm flattered even when Willows in trouble you can't stop thinking about me. Pity for you luv," said Spike resentful.

"Am I late to the party? Oh well, I'll make up for it," said Willow appearing in the middle of the room. She sent a blast of energy towards the two men, but it didn't faze them.

"You guys have a protective spell going I'm impressed. Daddy must be home. Oh, oh I'm in trouble now. But if first you don't succeed try, try again."

"That's not going to happen," said Buffy stepping into the line of fire.

"Let's get out of here," whispered Jonathan taking advantage of the distraction. They ran out the back door jumping into the first accessible car.

"You let them get away," said Willow throwing Buffy to the side like a rag doll knocking the shelves from the wall.

"Willow you don't have to do this?" said Giles stepping forward.

"I'm done talking now," she said disappearing again.

"She's going after them again," said Buffy getting help standing from Giles.

"You'll find her at King man's bluff raising a temple. She's ready to end the world," said Anya feeling Willow's whereabouts.

"I gotta get to her," said Buffy taking off.

"Anya let's go," demanded Spike.

"Are you going to be alright?" asked Anya.

"Go," insisted Giles.

"You're going to kill us all," said Anya watching the temple raise from the ground.

"It's the only way to stop the pain," said Willow funneling power into the temple.

"Okay, shows over," said Spike with a devilish grin. "Stop destroying the earth my stuff lives here mate."

He pulled a vase from his jacket and hit her over the head with it and she went down cold.

"Well then, that's over," said Spike.

"A vase," said Anya sarcastically.

"Why not luv, I often find when, mates get to big for their britches it's the simply things that matter. You lot were just over thinking it. I don't have that problem," said Spike smugly.

"Clearly."

Spike bent to pick her up and held her hand. A soft white light emanated from their embrace. In a flash of bright white light they both were gone.

"Oh boy," said Anya.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: This chapter refreshes everyone's memory on Season 6 Dark Willow, it has been condensed and changed to include Spike but in a small way. He plays a big role in the upcoming chapters.<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

Silent Soul

Fish bones littered the ground where the river washed ashore. It was eerily quiet nothing could be heard, but the lapping of the waves. Ashes and soot littered the hot black ground like snow. The sky was dark without even the moon and stars for company. Two trees stood off in the distance looking oddly out of place. No greenery hung from its branches the trees were rotting from the inside. In a flash of brilliant light Spike and Willow appeared on the ground.

"Bloody hell where the fuck are we?" asked Spike looking around the area. Their was a cave off in the distance, but it didn't seem to promising. Willow was still unconscious, "C'Mon luv wake up we're not in Kansas anymore." Spike stood up over her smacking her face lightly not hard enough to leave a bruise, but enough to shock her. She wasn't responding so he decided to leave her for a moment and explore the surroundings.

He jumped up and down the ground seemed to be solid rock and dirt. The whole place smelled of smoke as if something was continually burning. If the fish were any indication the water wasn't safe either. Finding food for Willow would become a problem. Speaking of food their was no scent in the air of blood other than Willow's. He couldn't see any animals of any kind flying in the air or otherwise. Just then he heard a loud crack from the sky that sounded like thunder.

He went back to Willow picking her up to move her out of the rain. When over his left shoulder he saw it. Molten hot lava flowing slowly over the ground devouring everything in sight and filling every crevice. He threw Willow over his shoulder and made a run for the entrance of the cave. A fireball came out of nowhere to explode in front of him narrowly missing them by a few feet. He looked up dismayed. It was raining alright but fire rained down from the sky. Huge boulders of fire fell from the sky hitting the water and the surrounding area. He zigzagged keeping an eye out on the sky and made it to the cave entrance.

He drew closer to the rock wall as if it had some sort of magnetic pull. He reached out to touch it and recoiled in horror as it burned his hand. He could smell the stench of burning flesh. He screamed out in pain and shook his hand.

"Spike," cried Willow sitting up nursing a major headache. "What did you do?" she asked referring to her pounding head.

"Snap out of it," he said shaking her violently, "look around you does it look like were back in bloody sunnydale."

"Stop, Stop," she yells pushing him away.

Well she didn't poof him away something to be said for that he thought. She looked pretty normal to him she was back to being his red. He wasnt just talking about her hair either, the black veins in her face were gone and her skin paler than his had returned to normal. He could see the whites of her eyes where before they were hollow only dark.

"What's wrong with the walls, its kinda pretty?" she said looking around in awe.

He took a second look red waves danced on the rock walls where they hadn't been before.

"Why don't you touch one? It will give ya a helluva present," said Spike holding up his hand.

"Eeew, put that away is that where the smell is coming from," she said looking away trying not to toss the contents of her stomach.

"No that's not where the smell is from," he said in a sing song mocking tone. The smoke was getting thicker it was rafting in from outside. It wasn't a bother for him, but if they didn't find away out her lungs be filling the pain soon enough. "Don't mean to bring up any bad memories, mate. Think you can poof us out of lala land here."

"I can't," said Willow looking at her hands in despair.

"You can't or you wont," he said jerking her up to stand.

"I mean I can't. You know magic is power and you can feel it. I could feel it coursing through my veins. Now I'm empty," she said with emotion in her voice.

He let her go, "I've known a few witches in my day. The power is never really gone sometime's it just stays dormant. It will come back," he said looking around, "now that therapy's over let's find away out of here."

"We have to go deeper in the cave," said Willow worried her eyes were still adjusting to the darkness the small light playing on the walls helped. It wasn't enough to help her get through it without falling flat on her face.

"Yeah, I hadn't had time to explore it. I didn't want to leave you unattended. What if some baddies came out of the wall or something," he said looking up at the ceiling which was just more rock and no hint of an opening.

"You were worried?" said Willow surprised.

"If you died I'd be really cranky okay pet," he said nonchalantly eyeing the entrance as the lava flowed past their only way out of the cave. He found it quite odd that it didn't flow into the cave. At least it was one thing they had going in their favor.

She smiled at him. He didn't say nice things often so when he did she knew it was genuine.

"Well then, here's the plan don't touch the walls, stay close and move fast," said Spike taking charge.

"I can do that."

"Let's go," he said, but stopped short and Willow plowed right into him, "Wait. . . no accidental tripping into the wall either. Watch where you're going."

"Heyyyy, I resent that I'm not clumsy," said Willow.

"No I guess I could be confusing you with Xander then," said Spike.

Willow frowned she wasn't even going to dignify that with a response. They walked further in and came to an entrance that split into two. Not a window anywhere and no light from outside seemed to penetrate the wall or ceiling. That could be a good thing though for Spike anyway.

"What'cha thinking luv, door number 1 or 2?"

"I don't know, I'm bad at these kinds of games. I crack under pressure i can't even play monopoly. Maybe we should do any many miny moe," she said panicking.

"You're rambling a bit pet. Let's try door number one," said Spike walking towards it.

"Wait what if that's not the right way or what if we get lost," said Willow unsure and getting scared.

"We're lost already and anything is better than here," said Spike holding Willow's head between his hands.

"It's alright Wills it wouldn't have mattered anyways. You were fucked the moment you got here," said Buffy appearing from one of the entrances.

"Buffy," said Spike and Willow simultaneously.

A whip appeared from behind her back. She cracked it and wrapped it around Willow's neck pulling her in.

"Let her go Slayer," said Spike In a second his eyes glowed a strange yellow. His forehead pertruded and his teeth sharpened.

Buffy unwrapped the whip from Willows neck holding her so she wouldn't run away. She placed her head next to Willow's and pouted a bit.

"It be so much more fun if you just came and made me!" she snapped.

* * *

><p><strong>Authors note: I'll shed light on Spike and Buffy relationship in later chapters, but for now that almost rape thing never happened not with my Spike.<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

Spike threw off his jacket and rushed her and got a kick to his gut for his trouble. Buffy quickly threw Willow to the ground who fell beside her.

"Just in case you were wondering luv this won't be a one-sided fight. Good old chip is gone. So now I can kick your ass good and proper like," said Spike snidely.

"I wasn't worried, " said Buffy cracking the whip and managing to wrap It around Spikes neck. He wasn't giving up without a fight. They were playing tug of war both pulling back and forth. Spike had one hand on the whip lost his footing and fell to the ground the whip still around his neck. Buffy uncoiled it quickly and used the distraction to crack the whip against Willows back. Who was cowering in the corner.

It didn't have the desired effect Buffy was going for, "I have to say Wills black leather is not your color." She was going to snatch it off of her when Spike came up behind her and grabbed her. She elbowed him twice in the chest and gained leverage to push him back. She turned around and punched him In the face. Grabbing his arm to throw him into the burning wall. He screamed out in agony. She dropped the whipped and turned her attention back to Willow who tried to fight her off.

"Oh that's hilarious, you actually think you can stop me," she replied snatching the jacket from her.

"Buffy, you have to listen I know I messed up, but that has nothing to do with Spike," pleaded Willow between tears.

Buffy ran and threw the jacket out the cave entrance where it was quickly turned to ash by lava. Spike was able to get over the pain from his burned arm long enough to stand up.

"Isn't that nice Spike she's trying to martyr herself for you. We both know that you deserve to be here right. She may have killed one person, but you have killed thousands," said Buffy. She walked slowly to him trying to appear unassuming. She threw a jab and Spike caught it before it connected with its intended target. The first hit he threw grazed her chin. Knocking her off balance so that he could throw a second punch knocking all the wind out of her. It was a heck of a shot.

Outside of the few punches the slayer was getting by him. He was surprised to be feeling pain. The burning wall was nothing he wanted to get tangled with. Yet Spike noticed a fair amount of pain when she kicked him. That was weird usually the slayers hits register as a fly bite on the richter scale of things he puts up with.

He stood straight, eyes bulging with rage, and stared at his opponant - a slayer with a smart mouth - right in her shifty little eyes. Her eyes their was something else their no conflict of any kind she was enjoying this. He wasn't surprised at her feelings for him, but she couldn't have possibly turned her back on Red that quickly. Spike knew he had her right where he wanted her.

Spike took a lurching step forward and swung, the blow was sluggish. Spike knew that the second he launched it. Smirking Buffy ducked under it. Before it even registered that he had missed the mark, another body shot connected, this time to his ribs. Which sent fresh ripples of pain throughout his torso. He didn't fall - he made absolutly sure that he didn't fall! In the demon bars he liked to frequent sometimes his reputation would have already taken a hit whether he won the fight or not.

Spike went in for another shot. Buffy shoved him off. Trying to regain some leverage Spike moved around sidestepping her. She easily closed the gap and through three more punches all that landed. Spike fell to the ground.

It was unreal. Between the painful blows to his head and ribs, the sight of Spike getting back up was mind-blowing. Although she was told the vampire may be harder to take down than the human. She threw a haymaker that didnt carry, then another that Spike easily dodged. She responded in turn with an uppercut. Buffy's hand connected with a row of Spike's teeth completely unplanned. It was sickening and scratches were now on her hand when she pulled it back. Yet it did what it intended.

Spike kept to his feet despite the daunting blow. He had to for Willow. Falling down was not. . . .

"Spike's taking a little nap. That means we can play, Wills," said Buffy to Willow. She picked her whip off the ground where she had laid it.

She hit Willow's back, again and again with the whip. It seemed to make a cracking noise through the air singing to passerbys beware. It connected with bare skin, Making a sizzling sound like a snake as she brought it back up. To hit her once again. Each blow illicit a scream that even surprised Willow. The pain was unbearable and she knew she wouldn't be able to take much more of it without passing out.

"Stupid bint!" said Spike punching her on the side of the face catching her unaware. Sending her reeling to the ground. He picked up the whip that fell from her grasp. He was never one for torture that was more Angelus thing. He liked to get straight to the point. He wrapped the whip around Buffy's throat twice and pulled. After this win, his record of slayers killed goes up to three.

"Spike, no don't," pleaded Willow using up the little strength she had she passed out.

Concerned about Willow he loosened his grip, but only for a moment. All that Buffy needed she reached behind her and flipped him over her shoulder. She threw the whip to the side and pounced on him. Punching him in the face busting his lip and drawing blood. Spike hated when he tasted blood and it was his own. He spit in her face watching the blood trickle down her cheek. That only made her angrier and she punched him again and again hitting him square in the jaw. He could feel his face swelling. He gathered up the energy he had left his ribs crying out in protest and pushed her off of him. Knocking her into the burning wall. He smiled at hearing her wither in pain.

He picked himself up and swung upward, with a closed fist and struck Buffy along the jaw, not hard enough to kill, but to discourage any more bullshit.

He backed up checking on Willow's pulse that was slow and steady. Hecaught a glimpse of Buffy getting up out of the corner of his eye. Anticipating a hit Spike turned around and swung a slow steady right hook to Buffy. Buffy ducked Under it and dug both of her fists into his soft middle. Spike bent over in double the amount of pain. Buffy brought a right and a left hook to his face. Spike began to squirt blood.

Spike balled up his fist and swung it feebly. Contempt showed on her face, as she kicked him in the kidneys. Spike went slowly down to one knee. He looked up at Buffy his vision blurred from the swollen cut above his eye. Buffy backed up.

"I've killed thousands your right so take my word for it luv you are no better than me."

Buffy looked to the entrance watching the retreating lava. She had to get out of there. She kicked Spike in the head knocking him unconscious as he fell to the ran deeper into the cave and back to which she came. She touched the burning wall which was quickly turning cool and disappeared into it.

Willow regained consciousness and looked around confused as to where she was. The pain from her back filled every nerve and screamed for help. She didn't make a sound hoping that Buffy hadn't noticed her. She turned on her back and yelped in pain that was not a good idea. She turned on her side and saw that Spike was unconscious and Buffy was no where in sight. She crawled slowly and deliberately to his side, "Spike are you ok?"

She received no answer, well she didn't dust him so that is a good thing. She looked him over as best she could and he did look a little worst for wear. She didn't have time to lay around thought Willow Buffy could be back any minute. She looked toward the cave entrance and the lava was gone. She took a deep breath and summoned up more strength to crawl to the entrance. She touched the ground wondering if it would be sizzling hot or warm enough for them to travel on. It was surprisingly cool.

"Spike we gotta get out of here. Wake up!" she screamed going back to his side. She slapped him and winced she hoped she hadn't made his wounds worse. Okay she thought i'm just going to have to do this for the both of us. She ignored her aching limbs and sat up. "Okay, wake up anytime to help." She grabbed his arms and stood up grimacing all the while. She cried out from the pain shooting up her back as she pulled his body out of the cave. He literally felt like she was dragging dead weight through wet cement. When they got a reasonable space away she dropped his arms. She was breathing heavily and collapsed at his side.


	4. Chapter 4

Spike came to find Willow resting on his chest. He stirred waking her, "How long have we been out?"

"I'm not sure," she said wincing as she sat up.

"What's the matter, Pet?" Said Spike sitting up beside her.

"My backs killing me, but don't worry I'm fine. Really."

"Let me take a look," said Spike his ribs still hadn't recovered from the events of last night or was that today. He was greeted with a piercing pain in his side every time he moved. He put on a brave face though for Willow one of them at least had to act like they knew what was going on. He took a look and red welts cris crossed all over her back like a scrambled game of tic tac toe. The blood had already started to pus and crust over, drying in some spots. The shirt now ripped to pieces seemed to be stuck to her open wounds. "You going to need to take the shirt off. If you want your back to heal properly."

She hesitated, "I don't have anything under this, but my bra."

"I promise I won't stare, a lot," he laughed and clutched his protesting ribs.

She smiled knowing he was just trying to distract her from his own pain. She turned around to face him and get a good look at his bruises. She touched his swollen cheek to his credit it had gone down a little. "How's your eye?" She asked in contrast his eye looked worst it was completely swollen shut. She went to touch it.

"Don't," said Spike knocking her hand away. "You don't want your wounds healing over that shirt. You going to take it off or not!"

She nodded and turned back around. He ripped the shirt without much effort needed on his part. He heard a small whimper of pain escape Willows lips. "You can't see out that eye can you?"

"Oh, don't let this bother you mate. I've had worst," said Spike laying back down.

"One of us should go and look for shelter outside of the cave," said Willow wanting to be useful.

"There's nothing around here luv that the fire hasn't gotten to already. More importantly if I don't find away to neutralize Buffy she's going to to kill me."

How could you think I'd let her hurt you?! I'll do anything to make sure you make it out of this okay! You are here because of me and if she is taking that out on you than she is a monster! I don't have all the answers, but will get through this together," said Willow angrily her voice raising with every sentence.

"That wasn't about me was it?" Asked Spike annoyed and not sure why, "You don't have to save me cause you lost Tara. No offense, but I'm not fragile. I've been taking care of myself for the last hundred years and I'll probably be doing it for the next hundred."

"I didn't mean to insult you, this is just my punishment," said Willow shaking her head in disbelief. With everything they had to deal with she was getting hungry and the hunger pains wouldn't let her forget it.

"Punishment," snorted Spike, "how far do you think she would have went before i stopped her. She's bloody lost it and what do you do to crazies you put them down."

"It's not like that. I'm sure there only keeping us here temporarily."

"Well will find out," said Spike just then the sound of lightening filled the air. "We gotta get up the rains coming."

"Why what's the matter?" Asked Willow standing up slowly as not to hurt her back.

"It's not real rain more like big boulders of fire and if I'm not completely off here the lava should be returning to."

As if to confirm his statement a fireball hit the tree and it combusted. Fire rained down all around them. Spike looked back to see Willow falling behind as if paralyzed by fear. He grabbed her hand and pulled her willing her to keep moving. They made a mad dash for the entrance of the cave when suddenly Willow just stopped. "Wait," She grabbed a rock from inside the cave and brought it back out and put two marks outside the cave wall.

They ran inside. "What was that about?" Asked Spike.

"Just in case you are right. I want to keep track of how long we've been here."

"Oh you won't be here long," said Xander appearing from the second entrance.

"What no Buffy? What the hell are you supposed to do stare me to death!" Said Spike confidently.

"Is this over?" whispered Willow to Xander.

"Of course Wills. Spike over here looks like he has had more than his fare share," said Xander smiling and holding up both hands, but you haven't he thought. They both looked at him weirdly. He rolled his eyes, "I'm not trying to start a prayer circle. If you need to get out of here grab my hand."

"Your finally doing something right," smirked Spike grabbing his hand.

In what seemed like seconds they were right back in the magic store. The light in the shop burned her eyes after the darkness of the other world. She looked over at Spike who was also squinting against the light.

"Spike why are you here in broad day light. Couldn't pick a less flammable time to travel," said Buffy zooming past them to sit at the table.

"Willow you're supposed to be helping me with some research. Don't get involved in Spike's latest scheme," said Giles coming down the stairs with a book in his hands.

"Yeah for a minute there I thought you were going to leave all of this fun for me," said Xander appearing from behind the cash register.

Willow gasped surprised looking back at the Xander that brought them there.

"I think its time for me to let go of your clammy hand," said Spike trying unsuccessful to shake off the guys hand. "Buggar off!" spike yelled reeling up to punch the guy in the face. Instead he hit what seemed like an invisible force filled.

Willow began to panic using all her might to pull her hand back to no avail. "What do you want?" cried Willow.

"Just to know more about you," replied the imposter sinisterly.

Suddenly they were back in her room at Buffy's with Tara alive and well. Dying in front of her all over again. The rage she felt after and killing Racque. As she jumped from memory to memory pain jolted her scalp. Oz leaving her and sleeping with that other she-wolf. Being in high school getting bullied and feeling alone. The pain chased away any other thoughts in her head. The idea that earlier she was worried about her empty stomach was a laughable pain now.

They were in Spike's mind now. Seeing him as a human being laughed at for his poetry. Angelus turning him into a vampire. Spike watching Dru's torment and eventual turning. He hadn't felt anything watching Willow as they memory jumped. Now that it was his turn it felt like nails on chalkboard a pain that came out of nowhere to burn imprints on his mind. Spike being treated like an adolescent teenager by Angelus. Spike taking care of an increasingly mental Dru. Spike killing two slayers. Spike meeting Buffy. Buffy's torrid romance with Spike. Willow turned her head feeling as if she'd be intruding by watching their very intimate moments.

IT took a moment for Willow's eyes to adjust to the darkness they found themselves surrounded in once again. They were back in the cave. Cold metal was now under their hands as they were strapped to some sort of gurney. She felt weak after two days of starvation and the cave spun as if she had stood up to quickly. When she couldn't even move for being strapped down. She closed her eyes shutting out the dizziness.

"Bloody hell, what was the point of the trip down dreary lane?" asked Spike sarcastically.

"You're not Xander and that has to mean that Buffy isn't the real Buffy," piped in Willow.

"Give the girl a medal for figuring it all out," said Xander the imposter.

"Think about it Spike. We went through your memory, okay, but we really don't know everything about you. Why would he go through mines though when he was there to see it. If it's not the real Xander after all."

"Who are you?" asked Spike quietly.

"We're simply manifestations of people you have wronged."

"Where are we?" Asked Willow through tears.

"Tarhen and I can say that because there is no way in hell you can find away out of here," said the imposter.

"Why because you're going to keep us strapped to these beds," asked Willow on despair yanking on the straps tears flowing down her face.

"No, Willow," said Spike looking over at her sympathetically. He wished with all his heart she wasn't here with him, "he can say that because Tarhen is a hell dimension. There really is no way out."

"And the little trip he just took us on?" asked Willow thinking this nightmare was only getting worse.

"Your fears are who you are? I needed to see them for myself. There are the obvious physical fears such as animals," he said pointing to Willow, "or fear of being staked." "Then there are the emotional ones like feelings of being ignored or in Spike's case of you never measuring up to your sire. I'll be dabbling in a little bit of both during your times with me."

He wasn't aware of his screams until they were being torn from his body. Willow must be going through much worse.


	5. Chapter 5

Willow fell off the gurney and onto the ground. She put a hand out to catch her fall and felt the dirt coat her fingers. Her skin longed for a bath and she was getting weaker going without food. She got up and ran to Spike's side.

"Spike, Spike wake up!" Screamed Willow shaking him violently. She had been screaming and yelling at him for five minutes. She didn't know if he'd ever wake up again.

"Hey, red," he said meekly. He was wasting away slowly with out feeding. He just wondered what would get him first the hunger or the demon look alikes.

"Spike you need to feed so take some from me," said Willow offering him her wrist.

"No," he said sternly pushing her away trying to stand, but failing miserably.

"You need me. I-I want to help. Don't turn me away," begged Willow pushing her wrists In his face.

He grabbed her arm aggressively and she winced as much from her injuries as his pulling of her arm. She felt a pinch on her wrist as he sank his fangs into her. It wasn't as bad as she thought more like a dull ache. She could feel him sucking her blood. Feel it rushing out of her arm. She couldn't move or bring herself to look away. She touched the top of his head gently signalling him to stop. SHe gave him just enough to quench his thirst but not hurt her. He wripped his shirt and tied it around her wrist. "Thank you."

She half aided and half dragged him out of the cave entrance. They collapsed on the cold black ground exhausted and breathing like they had just run a marathon. "I couldn't tell."

"What," asked Spike turning his head to look at her.

"I couldn't tell that It was in an illusion when I was in them," she said breaking down and sobbing. It was like he controlled even her unconscious mind. No free thought to even think otherwise.

"Don't beat yourself up neither did I, pet," said Spike quietly.

She looked over her body at least the places she could see through her blurry tears. The magic hadn't left any scars on her body. "No you don't understand!" she said through her sniffles wiping at the tears that were free falling, "this place is going to destroy us mind, body and soul."

"That may be the intention, but that's not going to happen," said Spike determinate.

"Can I ask you something? Were you really going to end the world with me?" she asked apart of her needed to know his true intentions. If he deserved to be here as much as she did or if it was an unfortunate fluke.

"We like to talk big. Vampires do. I'm going to destroy the world the whole bit. That's just tough guy talk. Strutting around with your friends over a pint of blood. The truth is, I like this world. You've got dog races, billions of people walking around like happy meals with legs. It's alright Earth. Angelus could pull it off the end of the world. You almost did, but no not me."

"Is this how you pictured the afterlife?"

"I would worry about what would happen to me on the other side. If there even was an other side for my kind. I guess this was where I was always meant to end up," said Spike somberly.

"If I had to be down here with anyone I'm glad it's you," she said sliding her arm over searching for his hand. She found his hand and grasped his fingers holding on for dear would have hugged him, but it would've been to strenuous on her back to move.

"Thanks, I guess," he said, but secretly he was flattered. She could've said that she wished Buffy or even Tara was here to save her, but she didn't.

"You have to promise me you won't leave me. Promise me now!" she screamed in agony her whole body screaming for help.

"I can't luv."

"What do you mean you can't!" she screamed getting angrier.

"Listen to me, you stupid bint. Finding away out of here is what's important. A place that's doing some spectacular kickings of my ass."

"It sounds like you have a plan," she asked ignoring his harsh words knowing that emotions were running high for both of them.

"They take turns coming out of fork. Left, right, left. So today you're going to go right. As quickly and as far as you can go."

"What about you?"

"I'm going to stay and play punching bag. Only one of us can make it out or at least stay out of harms way. The other has to keep the demons from following."

"Wait no you can't. I won't let you!"

Spike sat up slowing ignoring the protests his aching bones were throwing. He motioned for her to sit up and come closer. She obeyed the effort showing on her face.

"You are the sweetest most honest person I know and one mistake does not erase a lifetime of good. One of us has to be safe and I choose you," he said pulling her into a hug.

Loud thunder cracked across the sky. It was there warning. They both got up and tried to run. Spike faired a little better having gotten an energy boost from Willow. His ribs were partial healed, but one wrong kick and they'd be back where they started. He was still red and blue in places and sore as all hell. Willow wasn't looking good though she was limping so her run was looking more like a gallup. Spike made a mark on the wall they had been their for four days now. He watched as Willow took off. He wasn't a man that prayed, but he said a silent prayer for her.

Giles appeared from the left entrance right on schedule. Spike smiled to himself that meant she would make it. The gurney was still in the middle of the cave. It hadn't vanished or reappeared.

A wicked smile appeared on Giles face, "Get on the gurney."

"What more psychological warfare?" asked Spike not sure what was worst. Although mind games was in the running for winning in some aspects it was worst than the actual physical pain. The fire in your veins, the pounding headache, memory loss and not a scratch on you. What he did remember he wished he could forget. He saved red that's all that matters he thought.

Giles strapped him to the gurney and produced some tools seemingly out of thin air. "I'm more into physical pain. I'll be cutting into you and seeing what your insides look like. Sorry there's no anesthesia."

The screams were gut wrenching. Willow stopped in her tracks as soon as she heard them. She wanted to turn back, but how could she help. She collapsed to the ground with her nose in the dirt covering up her ears. She couldn't here it his screams it was breaking her hurt the pain he must be in. It wasn't fair. None of this was fair. She got up and continued to run. She would find away out. She would save him.

But there was no way out. The cave came to an abrupt end. It smelled horrible rotten food littered the ground. Crushed skeleton bone's stuck out of the ground haphazardly. Willow gasped in amazement a small orange tree grew in the center. It was so beautiful a stark contrast to its dire surroundings. She walked closer and the familiar dirt under her flats turned to mud. Her feet sank a little bit with every step. She reached the tree her stomach growling expectantly. She grabbed an orange and pulled it from the stem.

It rotted in her hand. She dropped it like a hot potato. She frowned no this couldn't be she started to pull oranges off the tree one after the other and they all rotted. She stepped back in disbelief and slipped and fell on her butt. She pulled herself up getting mud all over her hands and forearms. She wiped her hands on the front of her jeans.

The tree was just false hope. Everything in this place brings despair she thought. She walked back the way she came stopping as Spikes screams got louder. She sat on the ground holding her knees to her chest. Closing her eyes and rocking back and forth. This was their life now. They were going to die here.


	6. Chapter 6

One Year Later. . . .

Willow closed her eyes blocking out the harshness of her surroundings. They had been here along time now and it was hard to imagine what life was like before. The wall outside the cave was covered with tic marks counting down the days. She eventually stopped because it was making her feel worse. The wall could tell them how long they'd been there, but it couldn't remind them of who they were before. Willows memories seemed to blur at the edges. One memory running into another with no way of knowing If what she was remembering actually happened or simply was put there by the demon versions of Buffy or Xander.

So she spent her moments of calmness trying to remember. Trying to remember life. Spike was worst off while she manages to avoid the worst of it. He took enough pain and misery for the both of them. She knew that the calmness was a time for Spike to recuperate from the nights events. She'd taken to feeding him in small doses during their moments of calm. She was losing a lot of weight, but getting by. Afterwards she'd just hold him not saying a word until the thunder sounded. He was losing it and no longer remembered life before. Xander was twisting his memory and tried as she might it was like all her efforts were for naught once he made it back into Xanders clutches. She stopped asking him questions about life as well it was hard on him when he got them wrong. She was his life line now and that was okay. She would never want to be separated from him. They needed each other.

The thunder crack their first sign to sprint to the cave opening. These days it was less running and more like scurrying. She just didn't have the energy neither of them did. If she went too fast her legs would give out from under her like jello. She was barely sustaining herself off the parts of the oranges that hadn't rottened off. Her stomach was probably eating itself it was a pain she was used to. All though dizzy spells that also resulted were fairly new occurrence. They made it out of the path of lava and into the path of Buffy. Dammit she didn't make it to safety this time.

Back in Sunnydale the gang all gathered at the magic shop, "Anya do you have everything we need?"

"Yes, urn of Osiris as requested," said Anya setting the artifact on the table.

"Everything's going as planned than. I don't want anything to go wrong. Giles is babysitting Dawn today. I convinced him that we all just needed time off to get back to normal like old times," said Buffy examining the urns inscriptions.

"Giles is leaving right as we do the thing," said Xander. He couldn't even say it to himself they were about to attempt a resurrection spell least of all to them.

"So you're really making me do this spell," replied Anya hoping they would change their minds.

"No ones making you do anything! You should want to because she was our friend!" Said Buffy kicking over her chair as she stood up. Fumes could have came out of ears she was so angry.

Xander stood up approaching Anya hoping to diffuse the situation, "We discussed this. We can't move on without Willow. She'd do this for us."

"Bringing people back from the afterlife has consequences. We don't know what we'd be bringing back," pleaded Anya.

"Yes, we do we're bringing back Willow!" snapped Buffy.

Xander needed to change the subject, "How was it getting the urn?"

"I had to go to the black market. We all know the market is just all spooky things and icky. I even had to kill Bambi. I'm going to count the money in the register to cheer myself up," she said leaving them totheir plans.

"So where is all of this going down?" asked Xander.

"Right here," said Buffy.

"What's right here?" asked Giles walking in with Dawn.

"The book Xander's trying not to read," said Buffy hiding the urn behind her back. They had filled Dawn in on what they planned only because she had to be sure to keep Giles busy at the house. "So what do you guys have planned?"

"Yes, she has promised to catch me up on all the latest movies. Supposedly I am terribly behind the times," said Giles laughing. "So what do you guys have in mind for tonight."

"We thought we'd go see this new band in town at club. . ." Said Buffy trailing off she was actually stumped they hadn't been to a club in she didn't know how long.

"Club Reincarnation," said Anya looking up from the cash register. "I walked past it today on the way to the bl. . .market."

"Well have fun then. Will be off," said Giles walking out with Dawn catching Anya's slip up but attributing it to her usual quirkiness.

"Wait," said Dawn running back in to give Buffy another hug and whispering into her ear, "Good luck."

"Is the thought of being with me that bad. You will see her later," said Giles playfully, but secretly he was nervous about his first stint at babysitting Dawn alone.

"No that's not it. She needs extra hugs ever since Willow has been gone," said Dawn it wasn't exactly a lie. In fact she was trying to be a grown up about things and help her sister move on. It just wasn't helping.

"Anya come over here we're going to start the circle now," said Buffy barking orders as soon as Dawn and Giles were out the doors.

Xander cut the light off bathing them in darkness the only dim lighting coming in from the window.

Xander joined them sitting on the cold bare floor with their legs crossed it looked like a scene from a bad movie he thought. They went around and lite there candles. Anya was having trouble with hers.

"Come on," said Buffy.

"I'm trying, my stupid lighter wont light. Okay," said Anya taking a deep breath. "I'm ready. Hear me! Keeper of Darkness!"

"Osiris keeper of the gate. Master of all things," recited Buffy reading off a piece of paper.

"Accept our offering. Know our prayer," said Anya pouring the deer blood out of the urn in the shape of a pentagram in the center of their circle.

"Let them cross over," repeated everyone.

"Osiris let Willow cross over," said Anya repeating it over and over. A red light began to swirl around her.

A flash appeared in the cave. It was pulling Willow towards the center. "Spike, help me please!

The demon knew instantly what this meant the red head was going to get away. She gave Spike a swift kick to the gut sending him flying. She dove in the direction of Willow grasping on to her hand digging her nails into her wrists drawing blood. She transferred her essence into the girl. Spike wasted no time coming up behind her and hitting her over the head. Unbeknownst to him it was already to late. The demons hand fell limp, and Spike grabbed on to Willow's hand and they disappeared.

Spike appeared he looked around wildly he appeared to be in the magic shop. He didn't know how he got there it could be another one of Xander's mind games. That didn't matter now he had to find Willow. He appeared over the counter he was behind the cash register and the others still weren't aware of his presence. The element of surprise would work in his favor, but where was Willow.

"Xander hit the lights," yelled Buffy picking up the urn and smashing it on the ground out of frustration.

"I guess it didn't work," shrugged Anya a little disappointed to be letting everyone down.

Willow appeared next to him seemingly out of thin air. "Spike," she whispered an expression of relief on her face as she hugged him tightly.

He put his finger up to her mouth, "Ssssh." Nodding in the direction of the demons on the other side of the counter. Willow nodded in understanding glad they hadn't seen her appear. She took a peak over the counter looking for a weapon within reach.

"Where are they? Why didn't it work" asked Buffy addressing Anya.

"I'm not sure. I'm just a demon not a witch," replied Anya moving away from Buffy and closer to Xander. Just in case the slayer got any ideas of vanquishing her.

She saw the swords hanging on the wall close by. If she was quick enough she could just make it. They couldn't stay behind here forever they would be quickly found. "I'm going to make a run for the swords and throw you one," said Willow keeping her voice low.

"If I don't see you again," said Spike his voice sounding coarse and gravelly even to his ears.

Willows eyes filled with tears she hadn't heard his voice in so long and this might be the last time. She closed her eyes and leaned in until her forehead touched his. He was her other half what were they going to do without each other. The demons had never been in the same room together either they were tired of the games and they were going to kill them or separate them to make them weaker. She would make a stand with Spike and she wouldn't hide. But if she didn't see him again. She wanted him to know how she felt. She brought her hand up and caressed his face. Leaning into the warmth of his mouth they kissed and he pulled away.

She ran to the wall grabbing the sword.

The others looked up astonished, "Willow."

"Willow you're okay now. You're back here with us," said Xander trying to sound as soothing as possible to his friend who looked like hell. The bruises on her back made everyone visibly cringe.

"Just in case it's not." She said throwing the sword over to Spike. He jumped the counter standing in the center of the room. She then went and hid behind him unsure of how to proceed. They had never faced them both at the same time and now there was a new one Anya.

"I'm not sure what happened to you or spike. But this is not what you think. We won't hurt you Willow. Were your friends and we brought you back," said Buffy sizing Spike up. He was badly bruised all over his back and torso. He had no shirt on and his jeans were badly ripped covered with mud, grim and dried blood.

"How many times have you told me that?" said Spike. Willow gasped and her voice caught in her throat the words were filled with so much emotion.

Buffy crept closer, "How can we prove that we're telling the truth? That we are on your side."

Spike and Willow heard the door open behind they both whisked around to see Giles standing there. Buffy ran up kicking the sword out of Spike's hand and sending it sliding across the floor. She grabbed his arm and flipped him over her shoulder unto the floor. He tried to get to his feet, but he hadn't the strength. The world faded to black and he passed out

Willow let out a blood cuddling scream. "Spike wake up please. Don't leave me alone."

"What the hell is going on here!" said Giles coming up behind Willow enclosing her in his arms as she collapsed to the ground.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Check out Youtube Silent Soul video some spoilers in video, but nothing major. So trust me its okay to peek. Direct link also available from my profile. Didn't mean for this chapter to be as long as it was so excuse me. Couldn't stop writing lol.


	7. Chapter 7

They chained Spike up in the basement as soon as he blacked out. Just until they could talk some sense into him and he wasnt a danger to himself or others. His hands were shackled to the wall while he laid unconscious. No one bothered to stay with him leaving to tend to Willow who was still inconsolable. Buffy briefly wondered if he still had the chip in his head. Would he be on there side even if he did come around to remembering them?

Back upstairs Willow managed to pass out under all the grief. Buffy figured it best if she woke up in her old room so with Xander's help they took her home. Giles was nominated reluctantly to watch over his new guest Spike. Buffy was going to come back as soon as she could to check on his progress.

"What the hell do you think happened to her all those months she was gone?" asked Xander laying her on the bed and pulling the covers up over her shoulder.

"I'm not sure," replied Buffy who feared for her friend.

"Did ya happen to notice her response to Spike? The girl acted like we were going to shish-kabob him. She damn near had a heart attack when he passed out."

"I know I was there. I saw everything you saw," said Buffy a little annoyed.

"Whatever happened to them is somehow connected with us. Why else would they be adamant that we were going to hurt them? I mean we know why they'd fear you, but why were they so scared of me and Giles," said Xander thinking aloud wanting to come up with something that may elp his friend.

"I don't have all the answers Xander. When she wakes will get them. But I don't plan on pushing her,"she said leading him out of Willow's room

"How is she?" asked Dawn pouncing on them as soon as they left the room.

Buffy figured in this case honesty would be the best policy. "She doesn't remember us, not really. She's scared we are going to hurt her."

"But we're not. We're here to help her right," said Dawn.

"Of course, we all are going to have to get her to trust us," said Buffy giving Dawn a reassuring hug?

"Spike," yelled Willow waking up in a cold sweat in a dark room. It looked like her room at Buffy's. Why was she here of all places? Did they bring her here? She didn't have a headache. Every time Xander put her in a new illusion it followed with a huge headache. Nothing like that happened this time. She got up and went to the door peering into the hallway. She heard whispers coming from downstairs. She crept to the window and opened it wide. She shimmed down the shingles cutting her hand. It wasn't a long drop from their and luckily she didn't hurt anything. She took off running back to the shop.

She ended up hitching a ride with random stranger who dropped her off in front. She walked in not really knowing what to expect. Their was Giles sleep flat on the table. He was snoring a bit. She didn't think she ever saw the demons sleeping. They usually seemed to just disappear into the walls. If memory served her correctly the shop used to have a basement. She tip toed past him and headed for the door that led to the basement.

She ran down the stairs when she saw him chained to the wall. What was she thinking they were monsters. Spike was still unconscious, but that didn't matter she was going to get him out of here. She began yanking on the chains hoping to pull them out of the wall. They were bolted down, but the noise managed to wake Spike.

"Hi it's me," she said stopping what she was doing to sit in front of him.

"Hi, red. You've never looked so bloody gorgeous. Why'd you come back?"

"What do you mean? I'll always come back for you. I can't get you out," she said gesturing to the chains.

He pulled on the chains with all his might to no avail, "it's alright luv we've been through worst."

"Are you hungry? Do you need to feed?" she asked giving him her wrist.

"Please," he said thankful for the offering. He bit into the soft tissue on her wrist. Trying to spare her as little pain as possible. Once he had his full he asked, "Are you hungry?"

"We've been in this illusion longer than normal. I haven't seen the tree anywhere, but it's okay it's not much nourishment anyway," she said not wanting him to worry.

"You don't have to be brave for me pet. Cum here," he said nodding his head. She laid her head against his chest and they fell asleep.

"How'd she sneak past you?" asked Buffy watching the two sleeping peacefully together.

"I'm not really sure. She didn't hurt me or anything I suppose I was just tired," answered Giles.

"Anyone else find it extremely creepy that she ran away to Spike?" asked Xander their was more to their relationship than what was being let on.

"Well, not exactly. They both have been through a lot together and right now she doesn't trust us. So I'm sure in her mind she needs him," replied Giles he wasnt going to jump to the same conclusions that Xander was applying. This was Willow they were talking about she just needed to feel safe. This attachment with Spike will go the way of the dinosaurs.

The duo awoke when Buffy kicked Willows shoe. Willow awoke startled.

"You haven't eaten anything Wills. Come upstairs and will get you something," said Buffy bending down to her level.

"I'm not leaving him," said Willow.

"You can trust us we're not going to hurt you," said Xander.

"Yes, agreed," said Giles.

"Then why is he chained?" asked Willow wondering what new game they were playing.

"It was for his own good. So he wouldn't hurt himself or others," said Buffy looking him over. "He's even hurt you," she said referring to the fresh wound on Willows's wrist.

"No, he didn't," said Willow turning her hand over so they couldn't see it.

"You fed him," said Xander surprised.

"Okay, enough is enough we have got to get you upstairs and away from him," said Buffy prepared to drag her out of there.

"Don't touch me!" screamed Willow lashing out and hitting Buffy across the face.

"Okay, maybe it's time to try a different approach," said Giles stepping in between the two. "You can trust us," he said handing her the keys to the chains.

"Are you sure that's a good idea? I don't even have my garlic necklace with me," said Xander backing up.

"We don't know what he is capable of? Or if he even still has the chip in his head?" cried Buffy thinking they were just asking for trouble.

"Yes, your right, but we know what she is capable of," said Giles putting his trust in Willow. She hurried and uncuffed Spike. They had no way out accept through Xander and Spike knew better than to try anything slick. He put his arm around Willows waist pressing her against his body. At the drop of a hat he wanted to be ready to push her out of the way if things got dangerous.

"Do we. let's not forget Warren," said Xander reminding them all that Willow had a temper.

"Shut up, Xander," yelled Buffy she was sure bringing that up wasn't going to help develop her trust in them.


	8. Chapter 8

They were still in the musty damp basement. It was a little unsettling when were they going to wake up from this continual nightmare. Spike still hadn't gotten a proper rest yet. She knew that was important if he was going to keep fighting on. She felt emotionally drained the false hope that the demons were giving them now was especially cruel. They wanted to make them believe everything was okay just before they yanked the rug out from under them. When they fell on their faces they'd stab them unmercifully in the back. Every part of her ached and the hunger pains were resurfacing. She madly needed sleep.

"I did my part Willow I let you unchain him. If I hazard a guess I wouldn't have done that if I wasn't the real Giles," he said doing his best to convince her.

She looked him straight in the eyes. You could see the wheels in her mind turning digesting every word that he said. "Maybe, maybe not," she said determinately the pain could be heard in her voice, but it didn't reach her eyes. Green eyes that held his gaze with a steely hardness. "I will never forgive you for the pain you've caused him," she said spitting in Giles face. She watched as he wiped it off his cheek and nose with the sleeve of his jacket.

"Ahhh, that was disgusting. Maybe you should back away Giles," said Xander referring to Giles who had been kneeling in front of Spike and Willow.

Giles got up slowly not saying a word. His eyes never leaving Willow's face, "I'm sorry you feel that way." He left and walked up the wooden stairs pounding his feet on each step.

"You're probably hungry," said Buffy taking in Willow's appearance from head to toe. She obviously had lost some weight. She would have to get her to take a shower before she could really see the extent of any lasting damage. They both smelled of a mixture of smoke, sweat and musk. "I'm going to bring you down something to eat. You too," she said nodding in Spike's direction, "no more snacking on my friend." She turned around and exited up the same stairs that Giles had retreated to only moments before.

"As much as I'm enjoying this wild amazon look you got going on Wills. I'm bringing you a sweater. It gets drafty down here and it just won't due you being naked and all," he said trying to avert his eyes from her bra. He turned to leave saying nothing to Spike who was glaring at him.

Willow frowned and looked down at what she was wearing. She wasn't sure what the demons plans were for focusing on what she wore. She drew her knees to her chest covering herself up. She laid her head on her knees and rocked back and forth gently. What if he planned to take her against her will.

"I'll kill him before I let him hurt you, pet," said Spike sensing her rising fear at the demon Xander's words. Yet, even as he was filling with murderous rage. Buffy's words tugged at his mind. Why would she bother to feed them especially him? What if they were back were they belonged? "He's right you know it's cold down here," said Spike putting his arms around her.

"I spit on him. What was I thinking? Giles is going to cut me up into little pieces and give the leftovers to Xander."

"Then they'll glue you back together and start again the next day," said Spike menacingly, "but not you, pet, never you."

They both quieted when they heard foot falls on the steps. Willow held her breath if she didn't make a sound not even to breath maybe she could just melt into the floor and disappear into a better world.

As soon as he saw her black boots hit the second step Spike knew it was Buffy. If he had to face any of them he was glad it was her. He cold take her or at least hold her off. The others possessed magic and skills that made it hard for him to fight back. They made him weak so it would be easier for them. At least Buffy liked a fair fight.

She came down the stairs with a tray of food in her hands. Willow gasped sucking in air after holding her breath relieved that it actually was food. Buffy placed the tray on the floor in front of them. She grabbed the coffee mug off the tray and set it to the side. Spike could smell immediately that it was real blood. His faced changed to the demon he couldn't hold back his growing hunger. Buffy slid the tray and the mug towards them and stepped out of the way.

Spike grabbed the cup from Willows hand the blood sliding down his throat. "I guess this means we're back in Sunnyhell then."

"What?" said Willow between bites of what looked to be a bagel.

"We're back luv," he said patting her on her back reassuringly and standing up. His yellow eyes switching back to blue.

"But how do you know that," she said grabbing the milk carton and gulping down its contents. Trembling a little unsure of exactly what was happening as she looked between Buffy and Spike.

"Take a deep breath, pet and think. They are a lot of things and givin' is not one of them," said Spike watching Buffy who hadn't said a word to either of them.

"Maybe there trying to fatten you up because you're getting weaker," she said standing up, but as soon as the words came out of her mouth she wished she could've shoved them back in. He gave her such a stony look in return.

"Willow you're home and everyone has missed you especially me," said Buffy taking a tentative step forward.

Willow looked down at the ground ashamed at what she said, "I'm sorry. That's not what I meant." She paid no attention to Buffy as if she weren't there. Consumed with the thoughts that she may have hurt her only friend and ally.

Spike looked away from her glancing wearily at Buffy, "You know better than me how long we've been down there. When has that ever mattered?"

Willow looked at Buffy with new eyes, "I'm really home."

"Yes," she said her eyes welling up with tears and opening up her arms. Willow ran to her sobbing uncontrollably as they embraced.

"What happened?" asked Xander barreling down the stairs with a pink sweater in his hands. "She remembers?"

Buffy nodded her head yes in response.

"Glad to have you back, Wills," said Xander embracing them both in a hug.

Spike watched the scene with interest just because he said it was home doesn't mean he was right. Yet the real emotion that they all displayed couldnt be faked. He wondered what it be like to miss someone that whole heartedly. The only one he had in his life was Dru and she probably didn't even know he had died. Not that he was feeling nostalgic or anything. He snuck upstairs while the trio were otherwise engaged. He knew Willow would appreciate this time alone with them. It was still night to his relief he thought looking towards the windows. he'd hate to be stuck a moment longer in this bloody magic store. Giles came up beside him and tried to put his hand on Spikes shoulder reassuringly. Spike recoiled away looking at Giles with disgust. His mind was telling him that this wasn't the demon. Yet it didn't make much of a difference he hated the demon Giles and thought human Giles was a self-righteous know it all.

"She remembers," he said nodding to the basement staircase. Giles didn't waste any time walking down the steps to see his ward. Spike headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" spoke up Anya from her place behind the cash register.

"Like you give a bloody hell, mate."

"I did miss you. Who else, but you can make those snarky comments to Buffy and get away with it. When I do it they all look at me as if I've killed a puppy. And Tell me that I don't quite understand. I think I understand well enough I just don't always agree," said Anya pouting and leafing through a book in front of her lazily.

"Well, it's nice to know that someone's thinkin' 'bout me. Even if it is alittle self serving," said Spike grinning devilishly.

"Oh here I may have something that you want," she said reaching behind the counter in a drawer and pulling out a pack of cigarettes.

"A girl after my own heart. Ya come bearin' gifts and a mutual hatred of the slayer," he said putting up his hands to catch the wrinkled pack that she threw his way.

"No, I didn't say hate," said Anya coming around the counter, "Just dislike. Strong dislike. I better check on Willow before they send out a search party for me." She said heading for the basement stairs.

"Hey, Anya," he called after her, "Will you look after her?"

"Of course," she said looking at him quizzically. Their goes that weird attachment again that was so out of character for Spike. "I'm sure a hair won't be out of place if my boyfriend has anything to do with it," said Anya with a hint of jealousy in her voice. Anya headed down the stairs not wanting to be left out of the loop a moment longer.

Spike was sure after the reunion was over they'd take her back to the summers place. He'd catch up with her then right now he needed a change of clothes and to catch dinner. Time to try out his new chip free head. He didn't get the chance to before they were whisked away to that hell demension and he had a lot to makeup for.


	9. Chapter 9

Spike stood outside of the summers home in the cool night air. The breeze that caressed his face was a welcome change to the snowy ashe he had grown customed to. He thought how Willows lungs must be breathing a sigh of relief in this new environment. Fortunate for him that was not one of things he had to worry about being a vampire. It was the only free pass the hell dimension had given him. He slunked back into the shadows as the front door opened. A stumbling Xander stepped out into the open.

"I promise to tell everyone everything tomorrow, but I needed food and now I need sleep. Go home to Anya," said Willow pushing Xander out the door. He had good intentions, but this was fastly turning into the longest day of her life and it had to end soon.

"Fine, I'll meet you at the magic shop tomorrow morning, but if you're not there in thirty minutes I'm coming to get you," said Xander walking to his car.

Willow closed the door behind him softly. She looked better already he thought. Or was that just his imagination. He leaned against a tree it's rough bark snagging at his leather coat. He took the pack of newports from his jacket pocket shaking out another cig into his hand. He put the cig to his mouth lighting it with his favorite red zippo lighter. This was the sixth one he lite tonight paying no mind to the buds that littered the grass. The sun would be up in few hours and he wanted to see her before he was forced to retreat to his crypt. It looked like Dawn and Buffy had no intention of ever leaving her side and giving her a moments piece. He should empathize with them they had lost a friend and now they finally have her back. Yet all he could think about was that they were taking precious time away from him that he needed with her.

Dawn cut the light off in the living room. She didn't want to admit it to them, but she had a hard time keeping her eyes open. There was still school to morrow, but she was glad it Friday. That meant she could come home and spend more time with Willow and help her feel at home. "Goodnight Buffy, Willow." She said running up the stairs to her room and closing the door.

"Your turn next. No need to supervise me sleeping," said Willow heading up the stairs to the second floor. She wanted time to think on her own. Without Buffy scrutinizing her every move or watching her facial expressions for a nervous breakdown.

"I know Wills, I'm doing the hovering mom thing and I don't mean to, but I'm just still worried about you," said Buffy following close behind. She had pretended to forgive them once before and snuck out of the bedroom window. This is Sunnydell a vamp could grab her or demon at this time of night. Not to mention the crazies of the human variety.

"I need a shower, Buf. I'm sure you've noticed the smell because I sure have."

"Well. . .maybe a little," said Buffy hesitantly not wanting to embarrass her.

"I thought so," said Willow opening the door to her room which was exactly the way she remembered it before she left.

"We left everything the same including Tara's things. You don't have to sleep in here if you don't want to," said Buffy soothingly.

"No, I want to its my room," said Willow plastering a smile on her face. "I promise I won't sneak out the window either.

"I could stay with you if you want?"

Every fiber in her being wanted to scream yes, but this was Buffy. She had risked everything to bring her back. Willow had to be strong and prove that it was worth it. She was still Wills, still old dependable that's all she could show them. She just didn't think they could handle hearing anything from the contrary. "No I'll be alright."

Spike climbed the tree his muscles straining a little under his clothes. It would take at least a week for him to heal from all the fighting and torture. It helped that he could drink fresh human blood from the tap. If he had to survive on the pigs blood that he got from Willy's it would take months if at all. He jumped from the tree limb he was hanging on to the shingles in front of Willows door. He could vaguely see Buffy standing at the door talking to Willow. He moved out of her line of sight pressing his body against the siding of the house to the left of the window.

He could hear crickets chirping in the distance. No they weren't in the hell dimension anymore. Right about now the only sound to keep him company would be the sound of Willows beating heart and her heavy uncomfortable breathing. No man or animal to keep them company for miles. The street lights so bright that they blocked out the stars. The air smelling of pollution. Cars parked in their driveways. Yes, he had missed the city or any place for that matter that wasn't that barren land of ash. Spike looked through the window and saw that Willow had closed her door and was leaning against it dejectedly. He knocked on the window hard hoping she would hear him.

Willow could have jumped out of her skin at the loud nose coming from the window. She smiled upon seeing that it was Spike. She tugged at the window opening it wide. "What are you doing here?"

"Just checkin' on you, luv. Tell old Spike how you're really feeling'?" Something was telling him that she wouldn't be feelin' up to opening up to that lot. Swarming around her like busy bees.

"It's. . .a little surreal."

Spike places his hand against the invisible barrier. "Ya gonna let me in, Luv."

"Oh, sorry," she said noticing for the first time that he was sitting outside the second floor window. "I invite you in before the neighbors see you."

Willow grabbed his arm intending to help pull him in. Her left arm started to tingle. It was an itch she had to scratch sending Spike sprawling to the ground. He tried to grab on to the gutters, But they slipped through his fingers. He hit the ground with a thud and rolled onto his back thats going to hurt in the morning. Shit, he hid behind the tree as Buffy came barrling out the door holding her stake. She looked around not seeing anyone she chalked it up to her mind and went back to bed. He climbed back up the tree, jumping from the branch and lifted himself through the window with ease coming to stand in front of Willow.

"What the bloody hell was that about?!"

"Sorry, my arm itched and you slipped," truthfully she didn't know what happened, but she wasn't going to dwell on it. "You really look better," she said trying not to make it obvious that she had been looking him over. She wanted him to grab her and envelope her in his arms. She would rest her head on his chest that was mysteriously absent of a heartbeat.

"I say this with luv, mate, but you need a shower," said Spike enjoying the look of mortification that appeared on her face.

She ran to the bathroom running the hot water in the tub. She shed Buffy's sweater throwing it over the toilet seat. She peeked her head out the door, "Please don't leave." She closed the bathroom door shimmying out of her jeans and unsnapping her bra. She dipped her toe in and the water was scolding. Her pale skin turning red. She ignored the itching sensation that was trying to tell her that her skin was on fire. She touched her cheeks she was crying.

Spike came barreling into the bathroom, "What's the matter?" He heard weird noises coming from the room with their shared experiences he assumed the worst. She looked at him with big doe eyes oblivious to her nakedness. Now that he knew she was okay he wanted to commit this sight to memory for later. "Are those happy or sad tears."

"I'm not sure."

Spike frowned to himself dealing with human emotions was still not his strong suit. He grabbed the rag from the corner of the sink. He sat on the side of the tub dipping the rag into the water. He rubbed the rag along her back taking notice of the hiss she made at the contact. "You sure this water is the right temperature for you." he was fine with it, but she was showing signs that she wasn't.

"When I got in my skin started to itch that get out of the tub it's too hot warning."

"Why don't you listen," he said giving her a devilish grin.

"It's the most normal thing I've felt in a long time."

He could relate it wasn't anything as profound as a bubble bath, but he went to his crypt and turned on the tele. It hit him like a freight train that things were certainly different. It didn't make him cry, but he did celebrate by grabbing himself a tasty blonde and a drink. It did feel weird to be feeding from someone who wasnt Willow. He squeezed out the rag, "look at me love." He wiped the dark smudges from her forehead. She stood up the water falling from her body. Droplets hanging from her nipples. His cock brushed against his pants in protest. He hadn't been with a women in who knows how long.

He loses his jacket dumping it on the lineolum floor. Pulling off his boots and socks and kicking them to the side. He jumped in the tub fully clothed getting the bottom of his jeans wet, but not caring. She laughed loudly as he splashed water all over her.

A knock came at the door. Spike could sense immediately that it was the slayer. He got a little bit of thrill imagining her walking in on them with that disapproving look on her face. Threatening to stake him, but the bitch would get a rude awakening this time. He leant over and whispered in Willows's ear, "Ssssh."

"I thought I heard something earlier. Thought it be good to come check on you," said Buffy through the door. Not sure if Willow would appreciate her barging in. She stood there feeling awkward.

Willows body was screaming for Buffy to leave. Thoughts of Spike filled her mind pushing Buffy out and the pending danger. She was rendered speechless as Spike's hands slid down her wet hips grasping them hard pulling her wet body against his. She brought her hands up to his face pulling him into a passionate kiss. He trailed kisses from her lips down to her neck.

"Tell her everything's fine," he whispered into her neck sending a shiver down her back. Trying to control his demon who wanted to taste every part of her.

"Everything's fine," she croaked.

"You sure."

Spike pulled away looking into Willow's green eyes that were glazed over with pleasure. As much as he wanted to finish this it wasn't happening tonight. He stepped out of the tub and grabbed the towl.

"Yeah, I was just in need of a long bath," said Willow snapping out of her haze.

Spike nodded for her to get out and wrapped her in the towl. Rubbing her down with a care that she didn't even know he was capable of.

"Alright, well I'll leave you to it," said Buffy touching the door wishing she could be some sort of comfort to her friend before turning to leave.

"You need to rest, pet."

Willow nodded opening the bathroom door and entering her room. She pulled on her pajamas. She wasn't sure why she wasn't afraid to be naked in front of him. Maybe it was because she had already bared her soul to him without even intending to.

"Will you stay with me?"

He weighed his options he had let time slip away from him. His inner clock was telling him the sun would be up soon and he wasn't going to make it to the crypt in time. "Yeah sure, luv." He grabbed the towl that had fell on the floor and draped it over the window. She turned cutting off the light on her desk. He laid in the bed and Willow got in beside him. She tossed and turned the bed felt lumpy, maybe too soft. She tried getting under the cover, but was too hot.

"You want to stop fidgeting you're making me nervous."

"I'm not comfortable," she whined giving him the most adorable pouty face.

"You want to try the floor," he asked glad that on some level she still needed him. Even though he knew it wouldn't last once the others engrained themselves back into her life. He was already feeling the loss of someone who was so apart of his life. His survival.

"Yes," she said immediately. Glad he had read her mind and she wasn't the one to suggest it.

"Okay," he said laying down on the floor by the window glad he had put the towel up.

"No I don't want to sleep here either," she said sitting up on the floor.

"The rooms not that big, luv," said Spike following her suit and sitting up.

She looked at him nodding. She was getting anxious and was breathing heavily. She removed some slippers that had found there way underneath the bed. She rolled underneath the bed. "It's darker here."

Spike laid on his stomach catching a better look at her underneath the bed. If he had a heart it probably be breaking for her. "Honey."

"It's darker under here, Spike," pleaded Willow.

"Alright, move over then," he said rolling under the bed. "This is tighter than a damn coffin."

"You sleep in a coffin?"

"Well not anymore love."

She scooted as close to him as the small space would allow and grasped his hand. Before he knew it her breathing had leveled and she had fallen asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

Willow let out a blood curdling scream. Spike tried to sit up hitting his head on the bed railing, "Willow stop."

"What's the matter," yelled Buffy running into Willows room with Dawn not far behind. She raised her stake, MR. Pointy ready to strike against vampire or demon. Well, it wouldnt kill a demon, but it would hold them back. She panicked not seeing Willow in her bed, "Where are you?"

"Ssssh," whispered Spike holding his hand over Willows mouth. It was not going to bode well for him if they found him with her. Although, he had no aversion to going up against Buffy he didn't want to do it in front of her.

Dawn walked further into the room and saw something black sticking out from underneath Willow's bed. She knelt down and looked under the bed, "Spike."

"Hello, pet," he said smiling at her wickedly.

Dawn stood up and backed away a feeling of uneasiness overtaking her. She had been close to him once. Buffy had considered him safe enough to entrust her well being to him. He was her protector, but now that he was back who was he now. The look he sent her was one of pure danger and evil.

Buffy grabbed his foot and pulled him out from under the bed, "What the hell are you doing here?" She picked him up from off the ground and threw him against the wall.

"Willow your eyes," said Dawn recoiling in horror as she appeared from under the bed. The whites of her eyes had completely disappeared. It was like the Tara episode all over again. She was going to try to kill them.

"Don't!" said Willow who began mumbling words that no one could understand.

Spike recognized it immediately as Latin. She was going so fast it was hard for him to translate it to anything coherent. It didn't matter because whatever it was, worked because Buffy dropped him.

Buffy began gasping for air. Her mouth felt as dry as cotten. Dawn collapsed to her knees clutching at her throat. It felt like she was swollowing acid. She reached out to Buffy for help. She was of no help laid on the floor gasping for air unable to move a muscle.

She was squeezing the life out of them thought Spike joyously. He couldn't have been prouder of her. She was going to accomplish something he had only dreamt about since he arrived. A goal that was stunted by the installation of that stupid chip. A part of him would like to have had a hand in it though. Their was no glory in just watching.

Besides Willow would never forgive herself if she was responsible for their deaths. She'd never look at him the same if he didn't even try to stop her. He walked towards her and She seemed unaware of his movements muttering the spell uncontrollably. He brushed her hair behind her ear. She stepped back as if shocked by his touch bumping into the dresser. Sending the lamp crashing to the floor. She fainted and he grabbed her in his arms. He smacked her face lightly trying to wake her.

Willow opened her eyes blinking repeatedly the whites of her eyes had returned.

Buffy made her way over to Dawn, "Are you alright?" She nodded yes and stood up with Buffy's help regaining some of her composure.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Buffy," she said blinking back tears. She almost killed Dawn, a sweet innocent kid. She had tried to kill Buffy as well. How could she be filled with so much hate and anger. Willow wanted to run to Buffy's side, but she didn't belong their. Instead she wrapped her hands around Spike and clung to him. As if at any moment someone would snatch her away and she'd disappear into nothingness.

"I want to go. I don't want to be here anymore," pleaded Willow looking up at Spike.

Spike couldnt remember the last time he felt so needed. Not even with Dru. He wanted to show her the world and whisk her away from this sedentary life in Sunnydell. But even as he looked in her eyes now he knew they couldn't run from the pain behind them.

"What have you done to Willow?" asked Buffy. This wasnt the Willow she knew this Willow was practically a stranger.

"She seems to be sufferin' from night terrors. I'd suspect that the rest of it is just a product of that," said Spike.

"When did you become such an expert on everything Willow?" snapped Buffy.

"The day they took us," said Spike coldly. Admittedly Red wasn't even on his radar before this. Blinded by puppy love or more accurate lust for the slayer. Yet of the whole lot of them he always preferred her company to that of everyone. They understood each other almost friends. Though, Willow's attention never strayed far from Tara so nothing developed further. Nothing until now.

Buffy's face was crest-fallen. The truth is the predicament they were in had nothing to do with Spike. He had been just as much a victim as Willow. She had been powerless to help them. That was her cross to bear. She gave Spike a once over he was definitely no one's victim now.

"I'm standing right here. Don't talk about me as if I'm not here," said Willow getting angry.

"Control your temper, luv," said Spike. He didn't remember her being so volatile back in Tarhen. The gang better prepare cause this wasn't the same weeping Willow.

Buffy took a step forward, but thought better of pushing her luck. "I want you to get better that means staying here, Willow. Even if that means Spike has to stay to. He can have the basement," said Buffy the words tasted fowl in her mouth. She would do anything for Willow including inviting her enemy to stay with her.

"What are you saying?" asked Dawn surprised. "This is my house too. You're supposed to keep me safe and living with two psychos is not the way to go."

"Oh, Dawn I know i hurt you, but i'll make this up to you I promise," said Willow.

"I agree with lil bit. I just got my freedom. I'm not goin' to be held in some basement like a pet. Especially, the slayers," piped in Spike been there done that. Truthfully, Spike would have a better chance of curing Willow on his own then he would with her friends influence around. Once she was back to normal he would turn her and they'd blow this popsicle stand. Not before they killed all her friends first of course. Dru was his forever injured bird, but this time he wanted an actual partner. Mind and body.

"Do this for me," she pleaded grabbing his hand that was cool and comforting to the touch.

"Anything for you," he said with a forced smile. Not liking the new turn of events.

"Right, I'm going to take Dawn downstairs to help me pull the sofa bed out," said Buffy dragging a reluctant and fuming Dawn with her.

Buffy, waited until they were safely out of ear shot downstairs before speaking, "I know you think this is crazy."

"You think," she said throwing the couch cushions to the side, "wait until I tell the others your stupid idea I'm sure they'll agree with me."

"Willow would have left," said Buffy trying to make her understand.

"Why is that a bad thing?" asked Dawn. Willow had tried to kill her twice now. The only thing she did was apologize as if that was enough, but it wasn't.

"Because she is still Willow are family and she needs us right now."

"And Spike is he family too?" asked Dawn sarcastically.

"I'm not going to leave her to the mercy of Spike. Its better she's here than in the darkness with him."

"You think he's going to turn her against us?" asked Dawn thinking about her strong reaction to him in the bedroom.

"Not if I have anything to do with it," said Buffy determined. "So he stays here agreed?"

"Agreed," said Dawn stomping up the stairs. She stifled a yawn and headed up to her room. Locking the door as soon as she was safely inside. She was taking no chances with either of those two.

"Your rooms ready," said Buffy going back to Willow's room. Where Spike and Buffy were sitting on the bed talking.

"Right then I'm off," said Spike brushing past Buffy briskly who stood in the doorway.

Willow's left leg began to shake as she looked around. She bolted from the bed and headed in the direction that Spike had gone.

"Where are you going Willow?" asked Buffy quietly not sure she wanted to know the answer. Spike stopped in his tracks and looked on with interest.

Willow looked down at the floor nervously. She was ashamed to admit what was on her heart as she would surely look pathetic. "I can't sleep alone," she said her voice cracking.

Buffy smiled sadly, "sleep over in my room then."

"Okay," she said her voice breathy.

Buffy grabbed her hand leading her to her room, "Oh Spike you know your way to the basement don't you."

"How could I forget," he said snidely. Watching the slayer escort Willow back to her room and close the door.

He headed to the basement and flopped on the bed. He wasn't really sleepy, and this room conveniently lacked a Tele. He took his jacket off tossing it aside. Damn slayer she may have won the battle, but she wouldn't win the war. Willow was no longer there lackey. He would make her his girl. A small knock came at the door and Willow came down. He wasn't expecting to see her there. She came to him running her hands along his face.

"Why," she asked softly her eyes turning as black as coal.

"Why what?" he asked Willow not at all ruffled by the sudden change.

"Why'd you save them?" asked Willow her anger coming to a head as she smacked Spike across the face.

Spike wiped the corner of his mouth with his thumb bringing it to his lips tasting blood. "You can finish them off if you want, luv, but i figured you'd want your friends around a lil while longer," said Spike smirking. The Willow he knew would be outraged over what she'd done, but he liked this too. Just the same something was off, Her eyes hadn't yet returned to normal.

"I'm sorry for questioning your motives," she said her eyes returning to normal.

"Its alright," he said because I question yours, "you have to go back before she wakes."

She nodded her agreement and kissed him softly before running up the stairs.


	11. Chapter 11

Buffy sat up in bed a little groggy. She hadn't gotten much sleep with the frequent nightmares that woke Willow out of her sleep. She looked over at her now and she just seemed to be sleeping so peacefully. She could probably use the rest more than her. So Buffy eased out of the bed careful not to ruffle any blankets or sheets. She jumped in the shower eager to get to the magic shop and figure out there next move to help Willow. It briefly crossed her mind that what Willow was going throught now is not a supernatural problem, but maybe a psychological one.

She stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around her. She wiped the mist off the mirror and took a brush to her hair. She walked back into her room to see that Willow was awake. The bags under her eyes were very telling.

"Hey, sleepy head. I'm finished with the shower if you want to jump in," she said going through the drawers pulling out a pair of pants. "It will make you feel better."

"Uh, sure," she said her voice a little raspy.

"I thought that after you get dressed we could head to the magic shop. I mean I have to drop Dawn off at school first, but. . ." said Buffy trailing off as she was interrupted.

"Why?" asked Willow puzzled. She wasn't in the mood for a pow wow with the rest of the group. She had hoped to stay home and spend more time with Spike.

"Well, I thought you and Spike would like to tell us more about where you've been all this time. Make sure there are no side effects to bringing you back? I mean maybe will find something that explains the nightmares," said Buffy buttoning up her blue cardigan over a white tee.

"The torture explains the nightmares," screamed Willow her eyes suddenly black as cole.

"I'm sorry, I know it's a sore spot for you. I just want to help. We all do," said Buffy holding her breath to see what she would do next.

Willow blinked, inhaling a sharp breath, "i'm beginning to realize that my temper gets out of hand sometimes."

Buffy approached her cautiously. Placing her hand on either side of her cheek, "We're going to figure out what this is."

"I'm not going right now," said Willow.

Buffy looked at her confused removing her hands from her face. She thought they were on the same page about this apparently not.

"No, i. . .i mean Its daylight I can't go without Spike," said Willow.

She wanted to scream that he's a vampire. We kill vampires we don't rely on them for our every move. How can she be sure that his motives are pure. Having a witch in your back pocket would be any vampires dream. Instead she asked her the question that was nagging at her the most, "When did you stop trusting me?"

"Oh, Buffy, no, I'll always trust you. You're the slayer it's what you do you help the helpless," said Willow who started to fidget a bit feeling uncomfortable with the question.

"And Spike?" asked Buffy glad to hear that at the heart of everything she was still her friend and trusted her judgement.

"You died and came back and spent the whole month frowning up. With that woah is me look on your face. Why am i here you said. Look around you what exactly is the problem. You get to sleep in a bed with the people that love you a room away. No pain, no darkness. You're so ungrateful. So no Buffy we can't relate not even a little bit, but Spike and I can," said Willow. The words came out of her like a rushing wind. Her mouth gaped open in shock that she could say those words to her friend. She clasped her hand over her mouth and ran into the bathroom shutting the door behind.

Buffy stood frozen to the spot blinking back her tears. She should be a good friend and knock on the door and tell her that everything's going to be alright. She couldn't bring herself to do it. She couldn't turn around.

"Buffy, I'm running late," said Dawn breaking through the silence. She looked at her face, "What's the matter is something wrong? Is Willow okay?"

"Yes, she's fine. She just had a rough night. We both did," she said leading Dawn out of the house. Maybe it was a good thing that she wasn't coming with. It would give her time to brief the others on her behavior. They thought if she just got her memory back she'd go back to her normal self. That clearly wasn't the case.

Willow jumped out the shower feeling refreshed. She quickly got dressed and headed to the basement. She hoped that Spike would still be up. She walked down the steps to see him smoking a cigarette.

Spike took a minute to observe her fully. She looked so small, fragile and young coming down those stairs. It took an aggressive amount of power to kill the slayer without even touching her. A power that seemed absent from her now. "How are ya, luv?"

"Buffy, wants us to go the magic shop later," said Willow reaching out, her palm spreading across his upper arm in a gesture of comfort. Leaning her head against his shoulder.

"I see things are right back to normal," said Spike unable to keep the venom out of his voice. The slayer was still under the impression that she had some pet to do all of the dirty jobs for her that she couldn't be bothered with. He'd have to correct that soon.

"She thinks if we tell her what happened to us. They can figure out where we've been and make sure there are no side effects from our return," said Willow moving to sit on the edge of the bed.

Spike took that to mean they were starting to worry about her sanity. I'm sure her attachment to him wasn't helping matters either. No, this wasn't a supernatural problem at all. It was just a clear case of PTSD. Of course it wouldn't hurt to be sure. He said thinking about his own run in with her last night. "Wills, it's not the darkness that you're afraid of or night time," he said blowing smoke out of the corner of his mouth. "It's the silence where there is nothing to hide you from your screaming thoughts."

She ignored his statement not saying a word. As if that would be enough to keep the nightmares at bay.

He knew he was right, but he wanted confirmation. "Tell me something while you were in the shower. Did your fear find you there as well?"

Willow inhaled sharply, "Buffy was wrong?"

"About?" asked Spike, "Well, Besides everything." He smirked putting his cigarette out in the ash tray and Joining her on the bed.

"No matter what they tell you, none of that rust and blood and grime comes out," said Willow her head hanging low.

Spike rested his head on her shoulder as if drawn there. He hadn't done that sense they left Tarhen.

Willow's heart slammed against her chest enough to make her stomach queasy and her arms tremble, but under the panic and pure instinct. She knew that he wasn't going to hurt her. Not now and maybe not ever. Or Was she just inflating her importance to him? She relaxed and placed her head against his. "I just don't know what to do. I feel like I'm not even a whole person anymore."

Spike lifted his head tucking her hair behind her ear. He knew that what she was feeling had less to do with her treatment in Tarhen and more to do with the death of Tara. He wanted to feel some sort of remorse for the passing of Glinda. Yet, in reality he was happy because it meant that he had a chance with Red finally. Still, his heart ached for Willow and the pain she was enduring now.

Willow leaned over and kissed his cheek. Her heartbeat picked up speed and it was music to his ears. He could sense her excitement and fear intermingling. She brushed her lips across his cheek sending warm chills down hs spine. Their lips met and his demon roared in him to take what he wanted.

He knew he couldn't do that with her she had to come to him. She had to need him whole heartedly and this wasn't right. It was oddly reminiscent of what he had with Buffy and he wasn't going down that road again. He pulled away from her inviting lips.

"You're still in love with Buffy aren't you?" asked Willow of course he didn't want her and would pull away. Seeing Buffy again must have dredged up those old feelings. How stupid could she be of course he couldn't care for her beyond Tarhen. "One day I'm sure she will love you?" said Willow. Like I dId she will have realized that you are capable of so much more than she gives you credit for.

"Before we were taken. She was shagging me," his voice an odd mixture of triumph and painful shame. Definitely not the sound of a man whose dreams had come true.

"Why didn't she say anything! Did she think we wouldn't accept you? It's not as if you were the first," said Willow fuming standing up to pace in front if him.

Of course the stupid chit would throw Angel back in his face. "Bloody hell, it wasn't like that," he said a finality to his voice.

"Then what was it like," she said striking him across the face. Knocking him back onto the bed. Her eyes black as night.

He touched the scratch under his eye that seemed to be bleeding slightly. The hit caught him off guard and seemed to hurt worse because of it. "You mean what's it like to love someone and they only want what's between your legs."

"But you loved her? She wouldn't!" panted Willow breathing heavily. Drowning in her feelings of jealousy and rage.

"Pet, she loved Angel! What about you, luv? Figure, ya might shag me until you forget all about Tara, and your other problems," he replied mockingly.

Now was not the time to admit that he had only settled for Buffy. He grew obsessed with her only because Red, his Red was lost to him. She was happy with Tara at the time and he wanted her to be happy. So he made himself believe that the mindless passion he had with Buffy was more than what it was.

Willow grunted throwing another punch that he caught in his hand. She lost her balance and collapsed against him. He clung to her like he was drowning and she was the only thing that could keep him going. It was both a good, terrible, sad and wonderful thing. Enough to return her eyes back to normal as she looked up at him. It had been so long since someone made her feel like she was pure, whole and needed.

"Why aren't I good enough?" he asked honestly.

"For what?" she asked seeing the sadness behind his eyes. She was still kneeling between his legs clutching at his thigh. She could feel the firm muscles under her hand.

"Anybody. Never the one."

"The one what?"

"I'm never the one always rejected."

Willow smiled slightly as the meaning of his words dawned on her. "Accept this time you're the one rejecting me," pleaded Willow.

"I'm sorry you see it that way," said Spike standing up and pulling her with him. "We should go before Buffy sends out a search party."

"What will you tell them about your eye?" said Willow pushing back her hurt as she touched his face.

"Don't worry, luv, lying is my gift."

A little while later, Willow swallowed hard as she stood in front of the magic shop. "Can you sense them? Through their blood I mean. Are they angry or scared?"

"Concerned," he said staring at her. She was looking at the door as if it was going to leap out and bite her.

"You can sense that?" she asked puzzled turning to see his eyes on her.

"I don't think you have to be a vampire to know that they care."

"Will they always be afraid of me?"

"Maybe, can you handle that?" asked Spike concerned. He wasn't interested in seeing the she-devil part of her again tonight.

"Yeah, it could be a lot worse," she said they could be the demons of Tarhen.

"I suppose they could also be afraid that you're going to turn them into bangers and mash."

"I'm not sure what that is, Spike," said Willow smiling as she opened the door and walking in.


End file.
